this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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