so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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