idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dicks are not precious.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
