dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
