You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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