Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
