This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
