I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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