I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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