So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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