around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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