why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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