she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
