Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
