"it" just moved
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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