ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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