the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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