'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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