Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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