3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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