the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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