Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize