I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
