Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
