I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
