me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I want is dick and wine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
