before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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