He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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