i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
