Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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