No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
