I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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