Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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