Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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