Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
