you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
