Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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