Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
