Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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