i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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