I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
this is an emotional support booty call
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
