Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
