I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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