He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
