we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
