I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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