I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
