Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
cat food counts as protein by the way
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
