I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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