We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
