he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
