Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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