I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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