i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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