watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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