saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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