What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
