I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize