so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
