this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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