I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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