I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
