Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
