Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
